As I sit here eating some key lime pie that may or may not be just old enough to be in the process of rotting; I couldn’t help but think about Great America amusement parks. It’s pretty damn gross… Not the key lime pie, Great America. The pie is actually satisfying as shit right now.

This past weekend, I took the lady to Great America to kill some of the boredom we constantly emanate.

Admission pretty much sucks fuzzy big ones and is really just foreshadowing of the crap you voluntarily signed up to wander around in and promptly, you are greeted by this ass hole…

These creatures time this shit for when you first walk in the gate and  you are still unaware or are suffering horrible memory loss of the experience you are about to endure.

I’ve come to realize that I hate young people. Now I’m not old by any means but I’m not a teenager any more and I think I mostly just hate what puberty does to innocent people. It’s makes you dumb. It’s not your fault guys, but you still suck.

I also get what it’s like though and I’d probably act the same way if I was still a kid, but that doesn’t mean I can’t hate the piss out of every inch of these gangly giraffe legged spider children when I have to stand behind them for 40 minutes to an hour waiting for a ride on the revolutionary doom hawk.

Getting food is just an awful experience and feels like you’re buying food at a good will. Things look like the only cleaning they’ve gotten in the past several years is a wipe down with a wet rag used moments ago in the bathroom and everything just looks sticky right down to the little fat children that have been getting McDonald’s force fed into their tiny faces since child birth. Good job dooming your child to a life of diabetes and obesity before they even understand thought ass holes.